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The Desire to Speak Instead of Listen – A Common but Dangerous Habit

The Art of Listening – Around us, we often meet people who are so eager to express their own viewpoint in a conversation that they don’t give others a chance to speak. At my workplace, there is a colleague named Joshi Ji. He is senior in age, everyone respects him, but whenever there is a discussion on any topic in the office, one thing is certain — Joshi Ji will speak the most.

Even if two people are calmly discussing something, the moment Joshi Ji passes by, he interrupts and starts explaining his own point of view. And if someone tries to speak in between, he immediately says:

“First, listen to me…”

Then the same story starts all over again.

The Habit of Speaking Instead of Listening – Found in Every Third Person

If you observe carefully, you’ll find that almost every third person behaves this way.
The other person is speaking, but most people are not listening to understand — they are listening just to reply.

Because of this, two major problems arise:

People fail to understand the emotions, thoughts, or the real point of the other person.
Conversations turn into stress, arguments, and misunderstandings instead of remaining positive.

Most people assume that the other person is foolish or doesn’t understand, while in reality, the problem is not intelligence — it is the lack of listening.

Why Do Conversations Turn into Arguments?

The purpose of any conversation is two-way communication. But when both sides are only trying to prove themselves right:

The conversation stops being a discussion
It turns into an argument
And both start believing that the other person is wrong

In such discussions, no one influences anyone positively. Instead, both end up damaging their own image.

Dale Carnegie’s Greatest Lesson – “Learn to Listen” (The Art of Listening)

In the world-famous book on conversation and relationships,
“How to Win Friends and Influence People,”
Dale Carnegie repeatedly emphasizes one powerful rule:

“The first rule of influence is to learn how to listen.”

If you want people to:

Like you
Respect you
Listen to you
Be influenced by your words

Then the first skill you must develop is the art of listening.

Dale Carnegie explains that the easiest way to become a good speaker is not by speaking well, but by listening carefully and understanding the other person. He shares a real-life example where a person was praised as a great conversationalist, even though he hardly spoke — he simply listened attentively.

This skill is rare, but people who possess it are always more liked and respected.
If you want your conversations to improve, stop trying to explain yourself all the time and start trying to understand the other person.

Observe This in Your Next Conversation – The Art of Listening

The next time you are part of a discussion, observe three things:

Who is actually listening
Who is just waiting for their turn to speak
And who is responding after truly understanding

You will instantly notice who creates the real impact —
always the one who listens more and speaks less.

Conclusion

Listening is an art.
It improves your personality, builds trust in relationships, and prevents conversations from turning into arguments.
If you want to develop better communication skills, start today.

Listening is one of the most important skills of an influential personality. It not only helps you understand the mental state of the other person, but it also creates respect for you in their mind — simply because you listened to them.

On the other hand, if you interrupt or present your opinion without listening, neither will you understand them nor will they understand you. In such a situation, no meaningful discussion can take place.

Increase your habit of listening — and you will see a visible change in your own image.

You can also read this article in Hindi here:
👉 सुनने की कला – एक आम लेकिन खतरनाक आदत

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